RUSHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD APPROACHING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive tidal wave of spam is about to crash down on your inbox. We're talking atrocious amounts of fraudulent emails packed with vile porn. These losers are trying to cheat you out of your hard-earned dollars, so be totally vigilant. Don't click on any images in these emails, and block them immediately. Be smart!